On My Own
by saragilbern
Summary: Lea finds out about Cory's death and is heartbroken, but she has her cast by her side. How will she get over his death? Will she get over his death?
1. Chapter 1

"No fucking way! He did not say that!" Lea was laughing along with her girlfriends when her phone rang. "It's Dianna, hold on," Lea answered the phone and walked into the living room. "Sup Lady Di," Lea said happily. She hadn't talked to Dianna much since they were filming season 5, which Dianna wasn't in.

"Lea, turn on the news! Now!" Lea did as she was told. When she flipped to channel 8 she saw a picture of Cory and read the headline "Actor Cory Monteith Found Dead in Vancouver Hotel Room" Lea heard Dianna start crying. She was watching it too.

"Dianna, this isn't true is it?" Lea was at the verge of tears, but Dianna was silent "TELL ME IT ISN'T TRUE!" Lea screamed into the phone. Her friends heard her yell and ran in. A tear trickled down Lea's face.

"Lea what the he-," Her friends stopped when they saw the television. They put their hands over their mouths. Lea plopped down on the couch, dropping the phone, she put her head in her hands and started sobbing. Her friends didn't know how to react so they just sat next to Lea and rubbed her back. Her friend Ashley picked up the phone.

"Di, we'll call you later," and hung up. Lea was crying very loudly, so Dianna probably understood.

"It isn't true. Cory is still in Vancouver," Lea picked up her phone and called Cory. He didn't answer.

"_You've reached Cory Monteith, leave a message.*beep*"_ Lea started crying harder.

"Cory! Cory please pick up your phone. It's not true! You aren't dead, I know you aren't. Cory I love you with all my heart, please answer," Lea hung up and went to dial again. _"*beep*"_ Lea finally understood.

"Cory… Cory no!" Lea dropped the phone without hanging up and ran to her room in the hotel and slammed the door. Jessica hung up the phone. Ashley started walking towards Lea's door but Jessica grabbed her wrist and just shook her head. They didn't want her to be alone at this time but going in to help her, just wasn't the right thing to do at this moment.

Lea pushed her knees to her chest and held them there while she buried her face in them. Lea was sobbing at this point, like the screaming, can't breathe sort of sobbing. Lea had so many emotions and thoughts going through her head. She was sad that he was gone, hopeful that it was true, and angry. She was angry at him for leaving her and angry at herself. She didn't want Cory to go to Vancouver but he convinced her that rehab helped, he convinced her that he wouldn't do anything. She didn't know if that's what killed him but that was a strong possibility. Lea just kept shaking her head.

"It's not true. Cory is going to get my message and, and call me back! I know it," Lea was highly doubting this theory, but she didn't want to believe he was gone. She pulled out the drawer in her bedside table, and took out a picture frame. Inside was a picture of Cory and her, at the Canucks game. He was doing his little half smile and she had a huge grin on her face. As she looked at picture, she saw a tear hit the glass protecting the picture. She hugged the picture to her chest and started crying again. She had a million memories flashing through her mind. Until Jessica walked in.

"Lea," Lea looked up. "Phone call," Lea's face lite up with hope, and Jessica frowned, knowing she was about to crush Lea's dreams. "It's Ryan…" Lea's head fell down and signaled for Jessica to give her the phone. Lea tried to compose herself.

"Hey… Ryan…" Lea said between sobs. "What's… What's up?" Lea didn't want to cry on the phone with her boss, talk about unprofessional, but she also figured he would understand.

"I'm so sorry sweetie," When Ryan said sorry, Lea burst into tears again. "Look call me when you feel better," and with that Ryan hung up. Lea threw her phone.

"I will _NEVER_ feel better!" Lea looked at the picture again through tear filled eyes. "What about all the plans!? _What about the wedding!?_ How am I supposed to do this without him!?" She hugged the picture and closed her eyes. "He was my soul mate. He wouldn't just leave me like that!" Lea looked up. Ashley had joined Jessica, both were standing in the door way. Lea got out of bed and stood up. She looked at her friends as she wiped a tear. She sniffled one last time and looked them both right in the eyes.

"We have to go home."


	2. Chapter 2

"Lea… are you home?" Dianna, Kevin, Naya, Darren, Chris, and Matthew all walked into Lea's house. She had called and told them she was coming home. Her maid Marty let them in. They all had heard the news and all though they were heartbroken, they knew Lea probably felt the worst. Marty led them to Lea's door, and she knocked.

"Miss. Michele? Your friends are here."

"Come in," You could tell Lea had been crying. Marty opened the door and the cast walked in. Dianna walked to the bed and sat on the side. Darren walked to the empty side of Lea's bed and sat next to her. Chris walked to Lea's vanity and leaned against it, While Kevin, Naya, and Matthew stood in the doorway. Dianna rubbed Lea's arm while Darren rubbed her back. Lea sat up and looked at everyone. Under her eyes there was still some water, and all around her eyes was red. She saw Naya and her eyes widened.

"Naya… What are you doing here?" Lea and Naya had been having some trouble, nothing major, just some insults back and forth but Lea didn't think she would come.

"Lea," Naya walked to the end of Lea's bed and sat on it. "1. I don't hate you, and 2. We all loved Cory, almost as much as you, and we knew you needed us." Lea leaned and hugged Naya. Then she hugged Dianna, and turned towards Darren.

"Darren!" Lea leaned in and hugged Darren, tight. Lea and Darren had the best relationship… after Lea and Cory. "Thank you so much for being here," Lea didn't let go.

"Anything for you Lee," Darren closed his eyes and smiled. Lea and Darren pulled apart. Chris walked to Lea's bedside and saw a picture of her and Cory at the Canucks game. Chris saw how happy Lea looked and his heart began to hurt. He looked at Lea and she was talking to Dianna.

"I still just… can't believe it." Lea put her hands in her head again.

"None of us can Lee," Matthew walked towards Lea. Dianna got up so Matt could sit down. He wrapped his arm around Lea. Dianna walked over to Chris to see what he was doing.

"What's that?" Dianna whispered. Chris looked up at Dianna and his eyes were red. He handed her the picture. Dianna took the picture in her hands, and as soon as she saw Cory, and Lea's smile she gasped and put a hand over her mouth. Dianna's eyes started watering as Chris put his arm around her.

"He's really gone," Kevin mumbled as he shook his head in disbelief. Everybody looked up at him.

"Remember that time we were shooting the scene were Rachel got on the train, and we kept having to re-shoot it because he wouldn't let go and he would follow her to the train," Lea chuckled, then started to cry a bit. "Oh, Sorry Lee," Darren put a hand on her back.

"It's fine," Lea chuckled again. "I loved that day. After that scene I went to my trailer to change and he came in and just kept apologizing. I remember he said," Lea was quiet for a second, then she started crying. "He said, 'I'll never leave you Lea," Lea turned and buried her head in Darren's chest. Dianna and Chris were sitting on the purple couch in Lea's room. Dianna had her arm around Chris's stomach, and her head buried in his shoulder, while Chris had an arm around Dianna. They were both crying. Kevin's phoned buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out.

"Hey. No we are at Lea's," Naya cut him off.

"Really B? Not the time."

"It's Ryan," Kevin went back to the conversation "I don't think she would," Lea looked up at him, with her arms still around Darren. "Mhm, okay… bye," Kevin hung up. "Ryan's on his way." Lea's eyes widened.

"Shit," Lea got up and ran to the bathroom.

"Lee? What's wrong," Naya decided to say something since nobody else would.

"I can't let my boss see me like this!" Lea was frantically wiping her eyes and putting on bronzer.

"Lee," Naya got up and went to the bathroom. "Ryan will understand," Naya slowly pulled the brush and bronzer palette out of Lea's hand. Lea looked at herself in the mirror. Naya saw the look on her face and knew a million things were flying through her mind. Naya pulled Lea into a hug and Lea cried on her shoulder.

"He was an amazing guy," Dianna had regained herself and was sitting up, next to Chris and now Matthew. "He cared so much," Dianna put her head down, and Matt wrapped his arm around her and rubbed her arm. Lea was walking to her closet and pulled out a box. She walked back to her bed and put the box down. She signaled for everyone to join her. As everyone walked and sat on the bed she pulled out a photo album labeled 'GLEE Memories' She flipped through.

The first picture was the first day on set. Lea was standing in the middle with Kevin, Amber, Naya and Jenna to her right, and Cory, Mark, Dianna, and Matthew to her left. The next picture was Lea fake kissing Chris. Lea looked up at Chris and they both laughed. The third picture was Cory holding Lea bridal style while Lea had her arms out.

"He told me to be an airplane," Lea chuckled. She ran her finger over Cory's face. Suddenly Lea's door swung open and Ryan walked in.

"Hey Losers," He looked at Lea who was smiling. "How ya feeling Lee?" He sat down on an open space on Lea's bed.

"Good, looking through photos," She held up the photo album.

"Ooo, lemme see," Lea flipped to the next picture. Lea had her leg around Cory, Kevin was resting his head on Lea's butt, Chris was resting his elbow on Kevin's head, Jenna had her arm on Cory's thigh and she was in a squat and Amber had her hand on Cory's chest and was standing behind him, Cory looked scared. They all laughed.

"When the hell was this?" Naya laughed.

"I remember that, it was after 'Push-it' and I told you all to look like horny teenagers" Ryan said and they all busted out laughing.

"Why does Cory look so scared?" Darren pointed to Cory's face, laughing.

"Cause he was an awkward guy," They all laughed as Lea flipped through.

"Here we go. Right after 'The Break-Up'," Lea and Cory were standing in the middle of the stage, kissing, Chris and Darren were standing to their right hugging, Naya and Heather were standing to their left hugging and Matt and Jayma were kneeling in front of them, holding hands and looking at each other.

"Why did you guys take this?" Kevin looked at Cory and Lea.

"Because, our characters had broken up and we wanted to make it look like they still loved each other, which they did." Chris re-adjusted himself.

"I wanted to kiss Chris but he said no," Darren pouted and everybody laughed. They all knew he was being sarcastic.

"Don't make me call Mia," Chris pulled out his phone and Darren playfully shoved him. Lea flipped to the last picture. It was the entire cast. From left to right it was Naya, Kevin, Jenna, Dianna, Darren, Lea, Cory, Matthew, Jayma, Dot, Chord, Amber, Jayma, Jane, Heather, Harry, and Mark. Everybody stared at the photo in content. These were the good days. They had taken this after the last episode of season 3.

"The good old days," Dianna started tearing up. Lea stared at Cory's face.

"I'm gonna spend my entire life missing him," Everybody wrapped their arms around Lea.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey Ry," Lea was walking to her car. She was wearing a short sleeve black dress, and black 4 inch heels.

"_Hey Lee, okay so I have an important question_," Lea wasn't really in the mood for important questions, more or less any questions but it was her boss, what could she do? Lea was silent which prompted Ryan to carry on. "_So as you know we have already shot 3 episodes of season 5 and Cory was in all of them. So my question is… do you want to keep going_?" Lea had just shut her car door and was putting the key in the ignition. The question had thrown her off guard, and she stopped.

"W-What?" Lea didn't want to sound like she didn't like the idea, but she didn't really. She thought it would hurt too much, but then again she knew that's exactly what Cory would have wanted.

"_Lee, if you don't want to do it, it's fine. The cast will understand_," Ryan didn't want to pressure Lea in to doing something if it would hurt for her to do it. Lea thought for a minute, and then she looked at the clock and realized she had to go. She turned the key and the car roared to life. She put her seat belt on, changed gears and drove onto the street.

"Ryan, can you give me a few days to think about it?" Lea really wasn't sure what to do. Sure the cast would understand but they would probably be a little upset, and so would she. She also wanted to be around the people she loved during this time.

"_Oh yeah, sure. Take your time. Love you Lee, bye_." Lea put her phone in the cup holder next to her. Lea thought about what to do her entire ride to the airport. Lea thought out-loud.

"The cast would probably understand, but they would probably be a little angry. Cory would want me to, but what if it hurts. I would want to see all these people who love me, and understand what I'm going through, but…" Lea looked at the passenger seat and imagined Cory sitting there. "But Cory loved and understood me too," Lea shook the thought out of her head. She knew what she was driving to and didn't want to start crying right now.

Lea drove up to the pay toll and pulled out her I.D. The lady examined the I.D. then the gate opened and Lea drove in. Lea parked into a parking space, and ran out to the plane. Lea looked around and found it. They had laid an American flag on top of it. Lea ran up to a person working around the plane.

"Hey, hey! Why does it have an American flag? He was Canadian." Lea was a little upset. "That's a little disrespectful don't you think?" The man pulled Lea's hand off his shoulder.

"Ma'am I don't handle the coffin." The man pushed his cart away, towards the building. There were no other men around so Lea just walked to the coffin. She started imagining Cory's cold, lifeless body lying in the dark coffin and she began crying. She rested her arms on the coffin, laid her head down, and cried. She started imagining their future, and all the things they had planned.

"Cory!" Lea started saying his name over and over. Lea wanted so badly to rip the coffin open and just lie next to him, die with him. But she knew that wouldn't solve anything. A man tapped on Lea's shoulder.

"Uh Miss? It's time to go…" Lea knew she had to get off the coffin, but she didn't want to.

"Where are you taking it?" Lea didn't want the coffin to go somewhere irrelevant but she already had an idea of where it was going.

"Vancouver," The man rubbed Lea's back. "I'm so sorry," Lea cried for a few more moment and the man let her. Lea lifted her head up, wiped her tears, rubbed the coffin, and walked away. After a few steps she turned back.

"WAIT!" Lea ran back to the coffin and the man stepped back. Lea Leaned down, kissed the coffin and whispered.

"I love you Cory, always have, always will," Lea nodded at the man and walked back to her car. She sat in her car for a second, not doing anything, except crying. She watched the men pulled the coffin into the plane. After about 7 minutes, the plane started driving away, then it flew up. As it flew up Lea whispered

"Bye Cory."


	4. Chapter 4

"As you all know me and Cory were in a relationship," The entire cast was sitting in a circle in the Glee auditorium, Idina, Kristin, Gwyneth, Jonathon, Jeff, Brian, and all the guest stars were there, Lea was in the middle. "But Cory wasn't just my fiancé, he was my best friend, he was my soul mate, he was my everything. Cory and I talked about anything and everything, we talked about our kids, what we do when Glee was over, how we would look when we were older, you guys," Lea looked around. "He loved you guys, more than anything. He would come home and just go on and on. The day he shot the dyslexia scene with you Blake, he wouldn't stop talking about how great an actor you were," Blake looked down and started to tear up at the memory. "And the day he shot the 'Home/Homeward Bound' number with Dianna and all you guys, he just kept saying how amazing it was to be back with you guys again. This may sound weird but sometimes I," Lea looked down and chuckled at herself. "I play an old voicemail message from him, just to hear him say he loves me. And I play a Glee CD just to hear him sing. And sometimes, I put on one of his old shirts, or jackets and just well 1. Feel like a little woodland creature," everybody laughed "or to just… I feel like he is with me," Everybody was crying except Alex, Jake, and Naya. "I loved him, and he loved me, and all you guys," Lea sat back in her spot next to Darren, whom she rested her head on and cried. Naya stood up.

"The first day I met Cory was actually after the 'Don't stop Believing' number. He came up to me and just hugged me," Naya chuckled with everybody else. "He was like 'I'm Cory, I play Finn and I probably make you feel like a midget so sorry about that.'" Everybody laughed again. "He never wanted somebody to feel bad; he always wanted to make you feel safe. I remember after the 'Like a Virgin' number he just kept apologizing. He was like 'I'm so sorry if I violated you,' and I was like 'Cory, were actors,' and he was like 'I know but I was touching and rubbing, I'm sorry,' And the day he sang 'Girls Wanna Have Fun' I remember looking into his eyes and thinking," she paused and Lea looked a little angry. "I remember thinking, he is an amazing guy. There was nothing bad about him. He only cared. He was funny, and one of the best people I have met," Naya looked up, trying to keep the tears from falling. She walked back next to Heather and Matthew stood up.

"Cory. Cory was, Cory. I remember when we were filming his first scene, we had to re-shoot like 13 times because he kept laughing, which made me laugh. Cory was obviously the closets to my age so we were the wisest," everybody laughed. "Cory would just crack a million jokes on set. I never thought that a man like that would leave us. I knew he had to eventually leave but, not now," Matthew looked down, and started crying. "Cory was a great guy, he was a better man then I will ever be. He would have died to save any of you and that was admirable, he was admirable. I wish I was half the man he was." Matthew wasn't crying hard, just had tears rolling down. He sat down as Lea stood up again.

"Guys, thank you. You are the most amazing, supportive group of people I have met," Lea started crying and everybody got up into a group hug. Mellisa broke away to a radio and started playing 'Don't Stop Believing' as some people started to cry.

"No, no, no! Be happy, happy memories with this song no sad!" Everybody laughed and started dancing. Darren grabbed Lea and started dancing with her as Dianna and Naya started dancing together. 


End file.
